A SUBBIE WENT DOWN TO IMPACT
THE PADDLE BASH
THE TWELVE NIGHTS OF IMPACT
I SAW KATIE FLOGGING SANTA CLAUS
THE LITTLE YUMMY BOY
DOWNTOWN
RANDOLPH THE BONDAGE MALEDOM
Author: Kevin a.k.a. vinegarsky@aol.com
Reproduced with permission
A SUBBIE WENT DOWN TO IMPACT
(sung by Charlie Daniels sound-alike to tune
of "The
Devil Went Down to Georgia")
A subbie went down to Impact,
She was looking for a scene to play.
She liked to top from the bottom,
And she liked to have her way.
Till she came across a maledom
Sittin' at the desk and countin' the pot,
And the subbie gave him her twenty bucks
And said, "Sir, lemme tell you what,
I guess you didn't know it,
But I'm a major slut for pain,
I've been to every dungeon,
Only Impact still remains.
I've played with every Dom in the world,
In heaven, and in hell,
But I never met a maledom
Who could really make me yell."
The Dom said, "My name's Rook,
And you have done a sin,
So I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,
'Cause we're the best that's ever been."
Subbie you just take off your clothes
And put your hands behind,
'Cause the maledoms down at Impact,
They will really blow your mind.
They'll flog you and they'll cane you
On your back and on your tail,
Bebore they're through, they're gonna make you wail.
Vinegar Sky stepped up to the sub
And said, "I'll start this show,"
And rope coiled from his toybag
As he bound her head to toe.
Then Chris pulled out his violet wand
And it made an evil hiss,
And Billy joined in with a flogger,
And it sounded something like this.
(Instrumental part, with flogger-smack and bug-zapper
sound effects)
When Chris and Billy finished, Tim said,
"Those are nice red buns!
Now tie her to that chair right there
And lemme show you how it's done!"
Fire in the dungeon, wail subs wail,
Tim's in the house with a singletail,
Ace's got a paddle, Clive's got a cane,
Gonna deal you out some major pain.
(Instrumental part, more dungeon sound effects)
The subbie bowed her head
Because she knew that she'd been beat,
And she crawled to Rook on hands and knees
And groveled at his feet.
Rook said, "Subbie just come on back
If you ever want to play again,
But I told you once, you SAM,
We're the best that's ever been!"
Fire in the dungeon, etc.
THE PADDLE BASH
(sung by Boris Karloff impersonator to tune of "Monster Mash")
In the Impact dungeon late one night,
My eyes beheld a kinky sight.
From the bondage bed my sub did rise,
And suddenly, to my surprise...
(She did the bash) She did the Paddle Bash,
(She did the bash) It was a dungeon smash.
(She did the bash) It caught on in a flash,
(She did the bash) She did the Paddle Bash.
In the Bluff City dungeon on a Saturday night,
Where the knives are sharp and the ropes are tight,
The leatherfolk came from across the land
To get a jolt from my violet wand.
(They did the bash) etc.
The femdoms were having fun,
The playing had just begun.
The guests included Caveman,
Master Jami and his Bunn.
The dungeon was jumping, all were looking at
Wolffie in chains flogged by Mistress Kat.
The guests from Little Rock began to arrive
With the Nashville group, the Rose-n-Thorn Five.
(They did the bash) etc.
Out from the office Chris's voice did ring,
Seems he was troubled by just one thing.
Opened the door, shook his fist,
And said, "Now who in the hot tub just took a piss?"
(He did the bash) etc.
Now everything's cool, Chris is part of the Scene,
And my Paddle Bash is the best ever seen.
For you vanillas this Bash is meant too,
When you get to Impact, tell them Vinegar sent you.
(Then you can bash) Then you can Paddle Bash,
(Then you can bash) And do my dungeon smash.
(Then you can bash) You'll catch on in a flash,
(Then you can bash) Then you can Paddle Bash.
THE TWELVE NIGHTS OF IMPACT
(to tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas")
On the 12th night at Impact, my Mistress gave to me...
12 shocks with Violet,
11 needles poking,
10 paddles smacking,
9 floggers flogging,
8 canes a-slashing,
7 knives a-cutting,
6 crops a-stinging,
5 piercing rings,
4 dozen clothespins,
3 yards of rope,
2 nipple clamps,
And an hour's worth of CBT.
I SAW KATIE FLOGGING SANTA CLAUS
(to tune of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus")
I saw Katie flogging Santa Claus,
In the Impact dungeon last night.
She didn't see me slip
Down the stairs to watch her whip,
She thought that I was sending Jamie
On a subspace trip.
Then I saw Katie piercing Santa Claus,
Underneath his bush of snowy white.
Oh what a catfight there would be
If the missus could only see
Katie flogging Santa Claus last night!
THE LITTLE YUMMY BOY
(to tune of "The Little Drummer Boy")
Come, they told me, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
A gang of Dommes to see, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
Bring pretzels and bonbons, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
To set before the Dommes, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
Yummy-yum-yum, yummy-yum-yum,
So to honor them, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
When they come.
Mighty goddesses, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
I am a poor malesub, yum-yummy-yum-yum.
I have no munchie stash, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
The landlord got my cash, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
Yummy-yum-yum, yummy-yum-yum.
Shall I offer you, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
A piece of my bum?
Katie nodded, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
And Kat was next in line, yum-yummy-yum-yum.
They whacked my bum for me, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
Ten of their best for me, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
Yummy-yum-yum, yummy-yum-yum.
They all smiled at me, yum-yummy-yum-yum,
Me and my bum.
DOWNTOWN
(sung by Petula Clark sound-alike to tune of
"Downtown")
When you're alone and need a smack on the kiester,
You can always go...downtown.
When you got worries, grab your toybag and hurry
To a place I know...downtown.
Listen to the crackle of the violet wand upon you,
Lots of kinky guys and gals will put the handcuffs on
you...can't get away.
The ropes are much tigher there,
You can forget the vanillas, forget all their stares,
And go downtown, where all the kinksters go,
Downtown, where they put on a show,
Downtown, maledoms are waiting for you.
Don't hang around and let vanillas surround you,
There are paddle blows...downtown.
Maybe you know a kinky Domme who will spank you
With a rubber hose...downtown.
Listen to the flogging to the tune of Bossa Nova,
You'll be playing with a Domme before the night is
over...happy again.
The ropes are much tighter there,
You can forget the vanillas, forget all their stares,
And go downtown, you're gonna have a ball,
Downtown, chain you up to the wall,
Downtown, femdoms are waiting for you.
(Instrumental part, accompanied by dungeon sound
effects - flogger smacks, groans, etc.)
You may find somebody kind to tie you up and cane you,
Someone who is just like you and has a lot of chains
to...fasten you down.
So maybe I'll beat you there,
We can forget the vanillas, forget all their stares,
And go downtown, where all the ropes are tight,
Downtown, waiting for you tonight,
Downtown, you're gonna be all right now...
RANDOLPH THE BONDAGE MALEDOM
(sung by Gene Autry sound-alike to tune of "Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer")
You know Jami and Billy and Ponyboy Davon,
Dragonwolf, BrutalKiss, and Lagavulin,
But do you recall
The most outrageous maledom of all?
Randolph the bondage maledom
Had a hundred feet of rope,
And if you ever felt it,
To escape there is no hope.
All of the other maledoms
Used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Randolph
Play in any bondage games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Jamie came to say:
"Randolph with your rope so tight,
Won't you tie me up tonight?"
Then how the maledoms loved him,
As they shouted out with glee,
"Randolph the bondage maledom,
You'll go down in history!"
